I head out for a couple long road runs tomorrow.  I will be travelling around Michigan this week and all over the UP of Michigan next week.  I am pretty excited.  I hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend, or whatever the hell that holiday was on Monday.  Was it Memorial day or Labor Day?  Oh, who gives a shit?  That’s like comparing Sweetest day to, oh, I don’t know, President Fillmore’s birthday!  I went to my buddy, Gip’s wedding and, boy, was it fun!  I don’t condone over-drinking, but I sure did that night.  And I paid for it later that night, and the next morning and into the day, and into the night, and a little bit on Monday.  Why is it that EVERY time you get drunk and have a hangover (or get flat out sick for 2 days) you tell yourself that next time you are gonna drink water, and have Tylenol before bed, and just not be so damn stupid… but then the next time you get drunk, you tell everyone you’re gay even though you’re not because it seems funny to you, but nobody else, and then right before you pass out, you hide?   Oh, and you don’t drink water or have Tylenol.

    I am prety dumb, I am supposed to leave tomorrow at like 7am, and it is 1:10am.  I am just so happy to not be going where I normally go on Wednesdays at 7am.  I think I am going to open a Bed N Breakfast one of these days and call it, “Beehny-Weenies Teeny Peeny Fleeny Heenie.”  Good night, America.

I got measured at a tuxedo place yesterday.  I walked in and just said, “Hi, can you please measure my inseam?”  And then when she was measuring my inseam, I peed my pants on purpose.  Then I ran out of the store.  That isn’t necessarily a true story, but boy, is it a good one!!

    Well, our Gentlemen’s Hour show this past weekend was a successful one.  I had a lot of fun.  Thank you to everyone that made it out.  I learned something that night.  I really am horrible with meeting people.  Just horrible.  I apologize again to the young man I am about to speak of.  A friend of mine was with a guy with a full real mohawk and I think 2 or three piercings on his face.  I said, “I’m Johnny.  It’s nice to meet you.”  And he said, “Oh, come on, we’re going to do this again?  Act like we haven’t already met like 4 times??”   I immediately felt like a jerk because I have obviously not only met him before, but multiple times and apparently every time forget!  How the HELL do you forget meeting someone that looks like a bad guy from the bar scene of Crocodile Dundee II?!?!?  I asked him if he was kidding, and I could tell he was offended/ annoyed.  I am a B-hole.  Seriously though, how shitty of a memory do you have to have to make THAT mistake?!?  And it’s not that I am some jerk that doesn’t give a shit.  I honestly do try to remember when I meet people.  Why is it so hard for me?    And I am bad with names, too.  People I have met so many times, that I really should know their names, and I try to, I just can’t place.  The fact that I have been so bad with names all my life makes my confidence in knowing someone’s name when I think I do super low, too.  I will actually know someone’s name sometimes and will just NOT say it in case I am wrong.  Pathetic.  I probably don’t even know your name!

    Another new thing I have been trying to get accomplished is reading a book.  It has been on the desk next to my bed since Christmas.  I think I am going to start it tonight.  Actually, I might not.  We’ll see.  Hey, if you wanna see or hear my nephew, Jack Roland’s first words, click HERE.