I am very fancy.  I have an ipod.  In my totally awesome cubicle at work, I have an ihome.  This is a little alarm clock that you can plug your ipod into and plays your ipod like a stereo.  Its great for listening to music at work.  What I like to do is put my ipod on shuffle and listen to my music all day long.  What I don’t like is how some songs are automatically a different volume from others so I occasionally have to turn the volume up and down after a new song starts.  I also have on my ipod, a couple of tracks from a cd called “Pull My Finger.”  This track features various wet fart noises. (I think you all know where I am going with this.)  The reason I have that track on my ipod is because I like to play it really loud in my car when I go through tolls.  Just ask Jason Russell.  Anyway, it happened again today where I am at my desk listening to a quiet song, and all of the sudden the track switches to that track, and my coworkers hear a series of loud farts blasting from my cubicle.  This happens from time to time.  I have honestly stopped caring.  I fart enough at work to where it probably helps!!  This way, when I really fart, hopefully they will start thinking, “Oh, thats just his ipod.”  When really its my ibutt!

    Jason Russell has a bunch of music my 60 GB ipod that he downloaded for his little ishuffle thingy (that things adorable. When I see it next to my ipod, it reminds me of a little boy looking at his own wiener and wondering why its different from his dads… Well, it doesn’t “remind” me of that, but it makes me think of that)  Anyway, he put some rap on my itunes library so today at work, all of the sudden blasting from my cubicle was some woman’s voice shouting out all pissed, “That bitch-ass muthafucka aint got no shit!” and then I abruptly turned the volume all the way down.  Thanks, Jason.

    Well, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  It’s that wonderful day when all the little boys and girls of the world cut out little hearts and put them in each other’s butts.  I haven’t been excited for Valentine’s Day in quite a while.  I am this year.  Actually, I think Valentine’s Day is a ridiculous holiday and I don’t really like the fact that it exists, but when you have someone to celebrate it with, it’s easy to overlook the fact that it’s a complete Halmark Holiday.  Sweetest Day, however, I don’t care if I get married on that day, I will not acknowledge that day as anything at all other than just another day.  I don’t know what date it is, but I do know it is dumber than shit.  I have only heard of it as of like maybe 4 or 5 years ago, but apparently its been around a while.  Anyway, that is neither here nor there.  But, yes, I do have someone to celebrate it with… and, no, its not my pillow folded in half!  …Although, she may be joining us!  Grrr.  huh?

     I hope you all got a chance to view the “Jesus and the Black Guy” video on my website.  If you have not, it will be (from what I have been told by my inside sources) featured as “clip of the day” at www.thephatphree.com  on February 15th, so please check that out.  Our most recent Gentlemen’s Hour show was this past Friday and it was a hit, so I may be adding some new videos to the video page of my site.  Also, please keep checking the Gentlemens Hour myspace and website as those are often updated with goodies, too.  I will be performing in Milwaukee quite a bit in March so keep your eyes on the schedule to see when I come to a Milwaukee near you.