I kinda miss my high school days.  I just woke up from a 4 1/2 hour mid-day nap and I was lying in bed thinking about some of the best times I have had in high school.  I think I was a lot funnier back then.  Oh, I’m hilarious now, don’t get me wrong, but in high school I think I was retarded funny.  My friends and I used to do some of the dumbest stuff just to make ourselves laugh.  One of my proudest moments in my life was when I was sitting in study hall listening to the dean of students read the daily announcements over the P.A.  “Blah blah blah, announcement announcement announcement, and Marian High School will be holding auditions for their annual spring play, Dingleberries Hangin’ On a Chode.  Come on out and audition, they are looking for a few good Dingleberries.”   I am not exaggerating when I say that I did pee in my pants when I heard it.  It was not a full out pissing, but urine could definitely be seen on the underpants that fine afternoon.

We got many other announcements through before they finally caught onto us, but that one the first and definitely the best.  We also used to pop into classrooms in the middle of class with a hooded sweatshirt pulled over our head, dance around chanting the word “scrotum” in a song-like fashion, and then dart out the door real quickly.  That was always fun for the class in session, and quite the rush if you were the culprit.  Imagine sitting in some boring class listening to how JFK freed the slaves or whatever and all of the sudden, someone opens the door, dances around singing about his balls, and then runs away!  Just the anticipation alone made class exciting… a little hard to focus, but fun.  One of the best things about that was how after it got really out of hand and they found out that I had something to do with the scheduling and executing of a lot of these “room raids,” the dean pulled me out of one of my classes and confronted me about it.  What was great about it is how I am pretty sure he was going to punish me, but after he accidentally chuckled and couldn’t keep a straight face while telling me about what the teachers were complaining about, he just told me to make it stop.

I wasn’t in the class that this happened to, but I heard from very reliable sources, that someone ran into a theology class taught by the nicest old jesuit in the world, with his pants down to his ankles (still had his underpants on, of course), hood over face, yelled scrotum, tried to run away, but the teacher grabbed his sweatshirt and he was caught.   Godspeed, good soldier, godspeed.

Well, that was a nice stroll down memory lane.  Hey, be sure to check out our sketch group’s website www.thegentlemenshour.com as it was recently updated and you can watch video clips from our first 2 shows.  They are pretty well done, if I may say so.  Also, you can catch the Gentlemen’s Hour at Milwaukee’s first ever Sketchfest at Bucketworks Aug 11-12.  We’ll be doing some new ones as well as repeating some classics for the first time ever!  (All new TGH show due in Sept, by the way)

    Myspace sucks.  Is it just me or has everyone been having problems with it lately?  I oughta punch Tom in the eye!  My schedule on my myspace page may be all F-ed up, but this site will always be updated accurately.  Anyway, just wanted to say myspace sucks.   (www.myspace.com/johnnycomic)

Oh, and another thing,  check out:  www.thephatphree.com     That is me at the top in the trailer for “Time for a Fix.”  That is, if they haven’t changed their site yet.   The good people at George Street Productions made this trailer.  It was written by Jason Matthews.  It is pretty funny.

What an awesome weekend!!  I just got back from a long weekend on the road.  I was featuring in Madison at the Comedy Club on State Street this weekend.  I had some of the best shows, it was a blast.  And I taped em so I have got some great tapes to send out should I need to.  I worked with my buddy Kevin Bozeman, and that was great.  Brad Tassell was headlining on this LaCrosse, Dabuque, Madison run and he was great.  I had a show in the Wisconsin Dells tonight.  That was a lot of fun.  It was another competition.  I don’t really like those, but I do seem to do very well, and I am happy to say I took 2nd place, so that was cool.  I am posting a picture of all of us that went down there on the photos page, along with some others of comics I worked with recently.  I feel like there was more to write about, but I am so exhausted and have a long week ahead of me so I better head to bed.

    Alright!!  Yes!  I just got back from getting my film from my Seattle trip developed!  Check out a couple of my pics of the Space Needle!

(note:  It is hard to take professional photographs by using a disposable camera and sticking your head out the moving car window to take the picture) (Another note: I removed these pictures cause they were screwing up this page a little bit.  Don’t worry, if you didn’t see them in the 4 months they were up, you won’t miss em.)

    I am in Seattle visiting my sista, Melissa.  It has been a riot.  I actually am leaving town tomorrow to head back to Milwaukee.  {This part of the blog has been replaced at the request of the silly goose that typed it, and later found it to be rather inappropriate.}

If you are ever updating your website from a different location, just a tip, make sure you guard the keyboard carefully.  They are actually both next to me right now staring at the screen to see what I type.  I will update this later, I guess.  Just kidding.  (for real, I will)  Oops, I guess they can read in parentheses, too.  This whole entry is probably only going to be funny for three people in the world.  The three reading it right now as I write it.

We hit all of the cool sites of Seattle, we saw Strangers with Candy, went to some park, a beach, drove by the space needle, went to a concert and saw Criteria and the Appleseed Cast, played poker, watched HBO, saw downtown, saw the Pike Place Market.  I did stand up on Friday night at the Comedy Underground.  It has all been a blast.  Melissa has farted like 3 times while I wrote that last paragraph.  I hope to come back to Seattle, according to Melissa.  I met Melissa’s boyfriend, Tyler for the first time.  If you are looking for some great stories about pooping, talk to this guy.  He has many talents, like he is a great drummer, but just between me and you, his specialty is his beautiful storytelling of fart and pooping as a child.  One time he pooped his pants outside his house cause he was locked out, but it turns out the side door was open the whole time.  I wish I was there… under him as he pooped.   (My poop smells like dirty diapers because I eat dirty diapers.)  -anonymous, but here is a hint:  I wrote one of the two things up above…and my name sounds like pyler.

(That last sentence was like the game in creative writing class where one person starts a sentence and the other people finish it or write a whole story.  I always liked that game because it was an opportunity for me to showcase my writing skills much more so than when the kids were smacking me around in the shower.) -Melissa

I sincerely apologize to my readers for this most recent entry.  It has been a colaboritive effort from me, Melissa, and Tyler Johnson, the new love of my sisters and my life.

    Skinnydipping isn’t as exciting as fun as it sounds.  First of all, if you are going to go skinnydipping, make sure the lake is deeper than 3 feet.  Second, its a good idea to see if everyone in the lake actually WANTS to skinnydip before you take off your swimsuit, jump off of a raft and cut your knees, hands, and feet on the bottom of the lake.  Just some random advice from your good buddy, Johnny.

Is it just me or do all of you feel like there is a hole in your heart between seasons of 24?  I feel like I won’t be whole until January when season 6 starts up again.  Until then, I guess nothing really matters.  Hang in there everyone.  We can make it.