Wow, apparently Louie Anderson signed my guestbook!  Gosh, I am flattered to know that such a star took the time to sign my guestbook.  And with what wisdom, too!!!  Well, folks, I have an amazing AND TRUE story to tell you.   So a few days ago I was at a corporate party and there was lots of beer and snacks there.  I drink like 40 beers.  Then I very wittily reference a man carrying a plate of meatballs by saying, “Hey, check out that guy’s balls!!”  We all had a great laugh, then I realized there was a 70 year old lady right next to me.  I apologized for my comment and she replied, “Oh, no, you’re fine.  I like that kind of talk.”  We all had yet another good laugh.  So I drink about 30 more beers and then about 20 minutes later the 70 year old lady walks by on her way out.  I immediately find it appropriate to shout out to her, “Hey, I’ll see you later… or should I say, ‘My BALLS will see you later!!’”  Oh, everybody had a very big laugh… Bigger than I had expected.  Well, as it turns out, that was a totally different 70 year old lady.         true story.              the end.                  thank you.

Oh, and also please please please keep checking in on the bottom of the media page for additional sketch videos.  I have one that is in the finishing stages right now.  I am heading out to Tennessee tomorrow, but will try to get that new one posted some time soon.

Well, I took 3rd place in the WideOpenMic comedy competition in Roselle, IL.  It was a pretty fun competition.  The crowd was a lot larger than Matt, Joe, and Gunnar had planned I think.  So it was pretty packed.  Anyway, more excitingly, I got a myspace website.  Check it out: www.myspace.com/johnnycomic .  Check out all the pictures.  Here is my plan, all the pictures are of me joweling so I am sort of hoping people think I am like the retarded stand up comic.  Should be fun.  Despite the fact that I have an IT major from Marquette, I still have trouble finding my way around that damn site.  Oh, well.  Check it out and let me know what you think.

    Hecklers.  I am just baffled as to how these people’s brains work.  So I am in Port Huron, MI at Main Street Live with Amaru and this heckler, Jeff to be exact, figures he is just going to “help me out” through-out my set and through Amaru’s set.  The thing I don’t understand is how I can look down from the stage into the front row into Jeff’s eyes and I honestly believe that he thinks we are on the same team.  We should be.  We should be on the same team with a common goal.  He felt it was his job to yell stupid campfire remarks during every set up, pause, and punch of my show.  Sure, I started out by making jokey poking remarks hinting that he should be quiet, but he took that as comedy partner fuel.  Eventually I had to just ignore him and he sort of got the hint, but he gave it another round right away when Amaru hit the stage.  He honestly thought he was helping.  HE SAID THAT OUT LOUD!!  Jeff, if you are reading this, as a favor to YOU, next time you go to a comedy club, don’t sit up front, don’t have nearly as much to drink before the show even starts and for the sake of everyone at the show, don’t talk.  You were a nice guy (except for when you got up all aggresive during Amaru’s set) and probably really thought you were trying to help.  You bought a cd, you bought a shirt, you apologized.  And we thank you for that.  But for the sake of the comics coming up to Port Huron in the future, don’t shout out at the comics.

I went camping last night.  It was fun.

    It was brought to my attention earlier today, actually earlier yesterday, as it is 2:07am on the 2nd, that people* really do read my updates on my website.  I am glad to hear the feedback and will definitely do my best to keep this thing updated.  I am glad to hear that people are enjoying the little sketches at the bottom of the media page.  I definitely want to keep those in a fresh rotation and make more so keep checking.  Tonight was a great night.  I did a set at Tony Miller’s Broadway Theater Comedy night in the old third ward and had a riot.  It was quiet a show.  Lots of comics and everyone did awesome!  Will Durst popped in and did a set.  I am trying to think of who all was there: Michael Gull, Tony Miller, Brian Green, Mario, Nola, some guy that got his girlfriend’s pubic hair caught in the fallow of his throat, Corey from LA, Chalk, Mr. Moogleys? and more.  It was great because the crowd was basically us comics and maybe 5 innocent wanderers.  But we hung out afterwards and just shot the shit.  It was just a gay ole’ good time.  It was great hanging out with Will.  I have worked with him twice before, once in Wauwatosa and once at Summerfest, and he is really a great guy.  He remembered me everytime, which may not seem like much, but in this business, and especially with the gap in our status in this business, that’s a LOT.  Hell, I couldn’t tell you my girlfriend’s best friend’s name!  Well, ex-girlfriend.  …Hmm, that may explain it.  Actually, while I am on the subject and a little drunk, plus I don’t think she reads this (if you are reading this, next time you see me, before you say, “hello”, just say, “You are a jack-ass” just so I know that I’m trouble) I think I got a lot of grief for not knowing stuff that, frankly, I don’t think I should be responsible for knowing!  I mean for crying out loud, how many of you guys out there actually know your girlfriend’s middle name??  …or the color of her eyes!?!   … ya know what is funny?  I actually typed  ” (kidding: Lee and green)”, but then erased it because I am not exactly 100% about the green part and I didn’t want to get in trouble for that.  Oh, well.  I know a lot of you may be thinking, “Wait a minute, if she is his ex-girlfriend, how can he get in trouble??”  Well, I don’t have an answer for you, but that’s how it goes.  I wonder if I am going to delete this entry in the morning.

*Dan Creviston and Michael Gull

Oh, and here is a friendly tip to all my fellow comics out there.  Let’s say you are driving home to your mom’s house in Omaha from Milwaukee and your grandparents and your aunts and uncles are all at your mom’s house as well.  If, while you’re driving home, you think of a hilarious bit about your anus, don’t write the word “anus” on your hand as a reminder of the bit.  Do yourself a favor and go the extra mile to find a piece of scrap paper somewhere in the car to write it down on instead.  Trust me.  Odds are you’ll forget that you wrote your favorite word on your hand before you forget the bit itself!  I’ll never forget the confusion that engulfed my brain when my Nana asked me no less than FIVE minutes after walking in the door, “Is something wrong with your anus, Johnny?”