I would like to apologize to all my loyal fan (conor) for the temporary absence of my website.  I was editing something and I must have screwed something up.  Anyway, it is back to working.  If anyone ever notices that my site is messed up in the future, please feel e-mail me at johnny@johnnybeehner.com and inform me of it.  Thanks.

I am working on busting open a few new comedy nuts these days.  I have entered a few comedy contests so wish me luck.  I was watching some old Marquette shows I did on tape today and I sure am sexy when I have a pony-tail.  Oh, I do have a question for the general public:  Is it considered “stealing” material, if you just watch tapes of yourself doing comedy from 4 years ago and jot down old jokes of your own because you are too lazy to think of new ones?

    I don’t know about you guys, but it feels like the 4th of July was just 10 days ago.  Well, since quitting my dayjob, I have had a couple job interviews lined up in case the money situation goes sour, and I don’t really like going on job interviews, but I had some and don’t really need or want the jobs.  Basically, my point is this: Going on a job interview when you need a job is one of the worst and most stressful things in the world, but going to a job interview when you don’t need a job can be one of the most relaxing and fun things in the world.

I went on a job interview TODAY, no joke.  I was in Muskegon, MI working with the hilarious and awesome Amaru (www.myspace.com/youngru) and I got back in town here in Milwaukee with just enough time to throw on a suit and go to this interview I was planning on skipping.  Now normally in the middle of job interviews, if I feel a huge build up of gas in my tummy due to eating tons of Taco Bell with Amaru the night before in a drunken haze, I will panic and hope that it’s not what we all know it is.  That was not the case today.  I felt the build up, and in my head, I remember thinking, “Oh, neat.  I think these two ladies asking me questions are about to be sad.”  Now I can’t be sure if any damage was done due specifically to my donation, but I do know that my two new friends stopped practicing good eye-contact at about that point.  Needless to say, I am not expecting a job offer from them… unless they need someone to peel paint off of walls.

Well, it is finally Independence Day. Let me just tell you that tomorrow I am taking my lights down first thing in the morning! I’m not going to be one of those knuckle-heads that leaves the darn things up months after the celebration has passed.

On a much more beautiful note, I gave 2 weeks notice to “the man” last week. No, I’m not a doctor who delivers horrible news to men with terminal diseases! I mean I quit my day-job! Hopefully, everything will be alright for me. I am working on getting a cd made so that should help. So if you see me at a show, buy my hilarious cd!! I like how I am pitching my non-existent cd already. I don’t think getting booked will be a problem as I have just revamped my bio that I am sending out. Check it out:

If you’re like Johnny Beehner, then you’re 6’5” and fascinated by how compasses work. Johnny’s clean and clever style of humor has made white men without any disabilities laugh for years! Somehow Johnny finds a way to relate to almost all of them. Sure, occasionally a member of the audience will walk out claiming Johnny’s act is inappropriate and offensive, but Johnny doesn’t target his act towards people with dildos for brains.