I was in Chicago this past weekend doing a show and visiting my good ole’ buddy, Gip. Gip is marrying his wonderful girlfriend, Sarah. Congrats to you two. Anyhow, me and Gip got to talking about the irony of having a girlfriend. He brought up a good point of how when you have a girlfriend, they kind of keep you up to some sort of societal standard as far as fashion, hygiene, etc that we, as men, probably would not otherwise maintain. They basically keep us looking respectable, sometimes even good. It is ironic, he pointed out, how when one has a girlfriend that keeps you looking nice and whatnot, that is when other girls tend to show interest and actually talk to you. But when we don’t have a girlfriend, girls tend to, for the most part, pass us by. We had a chuckle. Then I thought about it more, and realized that, since being broken up with my last girlfriend, I have been type-cast as a homeless man THREE times.
The first time was in the fake trailer you can see at www.thePhatPhree.com. The second time was me honestly being mistaken for a homeless person at a Burger King (while performing Taco Man, thank you), and just recently in a sketch for our upcoming Gentlemen’s Hour show… this Friday at 10pm at ComedySportz in Milwaukee. $5 admision. 
I guess the moral of my story is…. girls are gay?