Happy Easter Eve, everyone!! I am in Omaha visiting my mom and family. I performed in Clinton, IA last night with Brian Green from Milwaukee. It was a lot of fun. It was a convenient little last minute gig to pick up some gas money on the way to Omaha. It really was so great to work with Brian in front of an actualy paying audience for once. Usually Brian and I only cross paths at the Milwaukee Broadway Theater showcase on Thurs nights, which is a great little show, but more of a chance for comics to work stuff out and see each other than it is a show for a paying crowd. (Its a free show every thurs at 9:30pm) But it was really fun to watch him kill with his “club set” that I don’t ever get to see. It was fun.
I had to go to the doctor today for some family research osteoporosis project for the University my mom works at. Turns out I have superb bone strength!! They took blood, or as they kept calling it “DNA.” That made me a little nervous. When I think of blood, I think, “Oh no, I have a bloody nose,” or “hey, what’s that all over my stool,” but when someone says DNA, I think, “Mr. Beehner, we have made a clone of you and it is on its way to kill you.” I was asked to sign a release for them to store any leftover “DNA.” What would you have said??? When she put the form in front of me and stared at me, I got a little freaked out. Do I want people to have DNA of me? What can they do with it? What do they WANT to do with it? I signed it because I was a little uncomfortable being stared at like that, which I guess is a horrible reason to sign away your DNA. I think I was over-analyzing the situation because they will probably just put it in a test tube in a freezer with a sticker that says “some kid with superb bone strength.”
They also did a bone-scan. This was wierd. I walk into this really dark room and they have a catscan-looking machine that you lay down on and a big huge arm like thingy that comes down over you and scans over your whole body really close to you. As I was laying on it being scanned, I wondered for a brief moment if this whole “bone scan” machine was fake and if it was really just a machine that checks to see if you have a boner. I suppose it would have been kind of neat if, instead of the nurse saying, “Good news, Johnny. Your bone strength is very high and osteoporosis is not a threat to you,” she said, “Good news, Johnny. You have a boner.”