Today was a great day. I learned something and I would like to share it with all of you. If you are ever going to take a pie in the face, make sure the pie hasn’t been sitting out for a while before it gets thrown in your face. One would think it would look like a classic “pie in face” bit, but if the cream on top has been sitting for a bit, it will look more like you were just doused with white paint. Either that, or like a huge sea-gull just took a massive dump on your head. The key is to top the pie, and splatter it immediately. I will be featured in the April 6 edition of MKE magazine. I am not sure if it is a magazine or more of a newspaper. Anyway, that is how I learned the lesson. The girls that did it did a great job, though. We learned together. I am pretty excited about that, should be a good article on Milwaukee comedy. Actually, after it comes out, I will scan it and throw it somewhere on the site.
Last night, I was walking around La Crosse and I saw these two big guys walking toward me. on the sidewalk. Also it should be noted that I had a bad case of, well, I had Taco Bell for lunch and it had just turned so…. Anyway, I was afraid that if I got mugged, I would shit in my pants. So I said a quick prayer to God that I not shit in my pants if I get punched in the stomach. The guys passed me and I was safe. A few minutes later, I realized that I never prayed not to get mugged. I just prayed that I don’t shit my pants if I get mugged. I am not a super religious person. I try to be and I try to pray sometimes, but I think its tough for anyone to constantly be thinking about God. Do you ever make little bets with God? I ask this because obviously I have. Do you ever say, “Okay God, I think you are great and I believe you are out there, but can you just give me some sort of little stupid sign just so I know you are paying atention to me?” Like if I am driving somewhere, I might say something like this to God, “Okay God, really simple here. If you are listening to me, make the next car that goes by a blue one.” A few minutes later, a car will pass and it will be blue-ish purple. It might be blue, it might be purple. I am colorblind. That is when I realize that God works in mysterious ways.
My buddy Conor and I are in pre-production of a new cop-drama. I don’t want to give to much of it away. I just want to tell you to stay tuned. Oh, and I switched up the media page a bit. Now the children’s pilot that I made and submitted a while back is no longer the Special Hidden Crotch clip. It is on the main media page. The new hidden link leads to something much more dangerous…