Tomorrow I head out on my Iowa tour. Hazzah! I am pretty excited for that. How long after January 1st do you think it is appropriate to tell New Year’s Resolution jokes?? In regards to my last blog on Jan 5th, I apologize to anyone who got sad and “couldn’t think straight” after reading it. I didn’t mean for it to be a bum-ya-out session, I was just writing what was on my mind. To continue with that topic, though. I was very sad that day, as you could tell, but I think it is funny how God can throw you a bone every once in a while. Perfect example: I was all depressed that evening and I was on my way to a show. I had to eat dinner so I pulled into a Wendy’s. I go in and ask if they still had those bacon cheddar melts. (those were sooo good! If someone put a gun to my head and said that I had to choose a kind of sandwich to have sex with, I would respond by saying, “I would have sex with a Wendy’s bacon Cheddar Melt… again”) The kid doesn’t know if they still have them so he gets the manager. The manager comes over and says, “Sorry, we discontinued those. You missed them by about 2 weeks.” I said, “Oh, I didn’t miss them. I had plenty of them, I just wanted another one.” So, as a second choice, I order the triple cheeseburger meal… cause I am on a diet. So I go sit down all by myself and eat my fries and drink my soda and then the manager comes over and says, “Hey buddy, I made you a double bacon cheddar melt.” And all my worries and sadness just seemed to float away. How nice was that!! It was like, I was so sad, feeling sorry for myself thinking, “Oh, man, what’s wrong with me? I can’t believe she likes some other guy. I’m never gonna find my one true- IS THAT A CHEESEBURGER?!?! WAAA-HOOOOOO!!!!!!”
The sad part is, after he gave it to me, he goes, “Do you want a bag for the other sandwich?” And I said, “ummm, no.” And I ate my double cheddar melt, with a triple cheeseburger as dessert. I have no excuse for that kind of behavior.
I am putting some new stand up video up on the media site right now so check out the new clips. One is actually a tribute to my roots at Marquette. I thought I was so talented and I really didn’t know much about stand-up, but it sure is fun to watch those old tapes and cringe. I put up a clip from my show at Marquette University at the Weasler Theater from April of 2002. The other new clip is about my time on jury duty.
One final thing I would like to mention as I am not sure if I will be able to update this while on the road. I recently attended my good ole’ buddies Conor and Liz’s 2nd daughter’s baptism! It was a celebration of love, water, and babies. A word of advice to anyone that invites me to their baptism: Johnny Beehner probably shouldn’t be the designated photographer. Here is how I realized this. I was asked to take some pictures with a very, very nice digital camera (12 megapixels!!). I gladly accepted. The ceremony began and I tried to take a picture of them in the procession. That was when I realized that the picture on the screen was rather fuzzy. I tried and tried to take more and zoom and whatever, but it didn’t get better. I am pretty sure that the camera somehow got switched into “watercolor” mode! I don’t know why cameras come with these alternate styles, but I couldn’t switch it. I tried to go to the menu page and everything, but it is kind of embarrassing playing with a loud beeping camera during a mass. Now Conor and Liz have many beautiful pictures of what Sadie’s baptism would look like if someone painted it with watercolors. I cannot apologize enough.